Yesterday is too far away to remember, and tomorrow is too far away to plan.

Sat, 20 Mar 2010 12:02:15 GMT

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15:51 I'm very angry at magazine street. It is a traffic nightmare and seems to randomly lose addresses. #
18:45 Wandering around the quarter for no reason other than the beautiful weather. #
18:51 Its one of those days when I really wish I had a bike. #
19:12 Mustering the energy to begin the process of fabulosity before my shift tonight. I'm fresh outta funk. #
21:17 Bracing myself for impact. I hate that the safest way to walk to the club is via bourbon. #
22:21 Oh yeah Sean Kingston. You go ahead and keep rockin my night. #
00:10 @Zarahs aw just like old times! #spoonerisanidiot #
00:26 @Zarahs other than just his head you mean? Lol he always wanted to follow in Buddha's footsteps. #spoonerisanidiot #
01:00 I'm just the bartender, not a negotiator. Put on your big boy pants and go get some. #
01:26 Omg wut?! You're at the swingers club with your ex-step daughter? For reals? #thingsiwasmorecomfortablenotknowing #
01:32 @lolspeak this is my life. Its pretty rockin, aside from the social discomfort. Same dude took off his pants to shock me. Fail. #

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Fri, 19 Mar 2010 12:02:02 GMT

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19:36 Its a miracle i'm alive today. #
19:38 On the way to Independence to have dinner with friends. I'm such a city mouse, but love going to the country. #
00:48 Lovely dinner and now we're driving back to nola. Exhausted, I know i'm passing out the moment I lay down #

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Thu, 18 Mar 2010 12:01:58 GMT

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14:55 About to head out for some walking around errands. Its pretty out so I can't be bothered by this. Still I really really wish I had a bike. #
17:32 Jello procured, and all the errands ran. Dog park then home for making concoctions. #
19:24 @lolspeak because my bike got stolen, Dylan. #
19:47 Jello shots ahoy! #
21:00 @lolspeak I had no idea! #
21:24 @lolspeak I saw them but I think I just didn't parse them. Things are often lost on me. #bikewithgoogle #

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Wed, 17 Mar 2010 12:02:06 GMT

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13:57 Out of bed early and acting as getaway driver. #
20:08 Knitting and drinking coffee with miss Melissa. It has been a full day #
20:22 @Zarahs I lack the basic motor skills for such an activity. #
00:08 @bluepetalfae Silly, Al Gore invented polar bear payback! #
00:21 @bluepetalfae I was just referencing his latent creative talent thus far, rather than implying responsibility for derivative work, actually. #
00:32 @Zarahs probably his dog. Glad you heard the gunshots too. Means they were coming from the Treme or Esplanade Ridge, not the Marigny. #
00:37 And more gunshots! WTF neighborhood, this is abnormal! #

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Tue, 16 Mar 2010 12:01:59 GMT

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17:02 @Zarahs Ouch. But it is a beautiful day #
17:48 Should be sleeping. Planning dinner instead. #
18:19 So far today I have bashed my head and burned my mouth. But I believe the grocery shopping and those scalloped potatoes were worth it. #
01:36 Made dinner for the boys (Adam and Mike) and now I'm probably going to crash out hardcore. Italian food coma. #

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Mon, 15 Mar 2010 12:02:01 GMT

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17:08 Sitting outside with the dog. OMG it's beautiful today. #
17:13 @Zarahs and I will be a sad panda. #

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Sun, 14 Mar 2010 12:01:49 GMT

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21:52 Sick all morning, slept all day, and now i'm late to work. Wanna mess up my day some more? #
23:20 This is one of those shifts where i'm counting the hours. #
05:17 There's a lot of meatloaf on the classic rock channel #

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Sat, 13 Mar 2010 13:01:52 GMT

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11:02 @darkesthel but you come see me today! #
11:05 @MorganCamie I want my flying car, dammit! #
15:59 The city smells like spring. I'm going to pay later for the sun exposure but it's so worth it right now. #

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Fri, 12 Mar 2010 13:04:20 GMT

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12:55 Checked out of the hotel and in the car. Heading back to civilization...er...New Orleans. #
13:29 Slight detour. Tunica Mississippi has a Hollywood casino that has an original back to the future delorian. #
15:14 Kinda in awe of the fact that the Hollywood casino buffet has a smoking section. #smokingindoorswhatnow #
15:17 @Zarahs I don't know, a jeep is kinda slumming after the beamer. What kind of jeep? #
15:39 @Zarahs mike says if its not 4 wheel drive, then don't bother. But otherwise, YES! #ofcoursemikehasanopiniononcars #
16:00 Mike! Stop wasting the turn signal! #
17:05 Apparently I was wrong. Its not the turn signal itself that mike was wasting, but something called "blinker fluid". #wowcarsarecomplicated #
17:56 @lolspeak it has a Mr. Fusion, and that's all that matters. #
18:48 Apparently Jackson Mississippi does in fact have a large enough population to have a rush hour. #
18:54 Also, mike claims to hate traffic almost as much as child molesters. It is unclear whether this denotes moral relativism or road rage. #
19:33 @Zarahs what? You work? Weird. Tell adam and frog that you saw a pic of the star boobs and make them jealous. #
19:37 @Zarahs maybe the gentle vibrations from sitting on the speaker will be soothing to your muscles... #
02:09 Wow, flanagans is a real douche circus tonight. Who are these people? #
02:39 Home home home. It's nice. #

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Thu, 11 Mar 2010 13:02:00 GMT

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12:19 Downtown Memphis is just as disappointing as ever. What a waste. #
13:47 Westys: awesome. Still. And the menu is exactly the same. #
16:02 Hanging out in dillards. Mike refuses to seriously consider his potential for a future as a skinny Italian man. #

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Wed, 10 Mar 2010 13:01:48 GMT

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13:11 We have arrived. Way ahead of schedule. #
16:15 Finally. Lunch with the tattoo artist, and then checked in to the hotel. Naptime is go. #
23:29 I'm going to get my boobs tattoed. Right now people. #
23:41 @fitofwhimsy my areolae will shortly be stars instead of circles! #
02:36 I have star boobs! Take that bitches! #
03:03 And now der wafflehouse, for post tattoo endorphin food. #
03:25 @Zarahs I got them smothered covered and capped! #wafflehousedurrtytalk #

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Tue, 09 Mar 2010 13:01:37 GMT

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21:12 I leave tomorrow morning for Memphis. Pretty psyched, considering its Memphis and all. #
21:43 @Zarahs that is blasphemy, good sir. #
00:25 Cleaning and packing lalalala #
02:38 @Zarahs You should tell her not to take her pistol with her next time! #
06:33 And we are underway. I'd you know any dead milkmen, now would be a great time to sing going to graceland under your breath. A small prayer. #

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Mon, 08 Mar 2010 13:01:30 GMT

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09:52 Why does my foot always fall asleep? There's no reason for my foot to fall asleep! #
21:27 Going to dinner with adam. Fun ahoy. #
01:09 Reading creepypasta on the internet. Spooky sunday night fun. #
01:55 Someone hit my car. Left a note, which is nice. But in the space of 24 hours, I got my first parking ticket ever in my life, and that. Weird #
06:04 Making loaded tater tots. Am an awesome girlfriend. #

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Sun, 07 Mar 2010 13:01:39 GMT

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19:18 My dad called me. It was like taking 20 minutes to say hello, how are you. Awkward. #
22:47 Truly cool crowd at the swingers club. This job is made of win. #
01:19 OH in the bar: snow is cold! SNOW IS COLD! #
05:50 This night was owned by me. Swingers rock my bank account. #

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Sat, 06 Mar 2010 13:01:07 GMT

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21:06 On my way to work. Probably won't have anything in the way of business, but its a job. #
21:11 Kind of hates the blue dog. #
21:23 OH on the street: m1: where are you from? M2: cape cod. M1: oh! Canada, eh? M2: um, no... #
23:37 Its classic hip hop night at the swingers club bar! I heart ice-t so hard! I'm not ashamed. #

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Fri, 05 Mar 2010 13:01:47 GMT

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00:09 A day where I prove that I can make some kickass burgers and watch two Christopher walken movies. Kickass. #
05:13 Lucy, you know I don't have ugly people for friends! #200cigarettesrules #
05:14 @kokorio I miss you and moments like that! #

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Thu, 04 Mar 2010 13:01:38 GMT

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09:12 A dragon is a lot scarier If you think of it as a pterodactyl with a flame thrower. #
17:34 The job search is going terribly. Stress is my middle name. #
19:19 Everybody's looking for resumes. So they can hire people in the future. So maybe I'll have ten jobs, in a couple months. When i'm homeless #
03:30 @Zarahs We may have nothing better to talk about than Zarahs Vag but your boobs, while large as a planet are not the center of the universe #

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Wed, 03 Mar 2010 13:01:44 GMT

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09:37 I want a salad. And by salad, I mean an excuse to eat bacos, croutons and cheese with balsamic vinaigrette on them. #
11:24 Allergy season is already making me a sad panda. #
23:21 Jacques-imo's is pretty awesome. So are our friends. Winning day. #
04:00 3am walgreens trip. There are only strange people and bartenders here at this hour. Those may be the same. #

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Tue, 02 Mar 2010 13:02:29 GMT

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18:35 I make pretty much the best egg sandwiches in the world. Just saying. Word is bond. #
20:03 @excourier that's not barefoot running. That's running in rubber socks. #tomisrunnerfail #
20:59 @excourier less than three, amigo! #tomlightenupiheartyou #
23:08 Book of Eli was pretty good. The Christian message wasn't subtle, but all the same was gracefully delivered. #
23:39 @bluepetalfae you can love your coffee maker, you just can't "love" your coffee maker. #
01:12 @Zarahs goddamn blondes have a lot of rules! #
02:43 Crazy dog is a mess. But he behaved pretty well for me. #
05:37 Leave it to me to always say the wrong things. Its like I can watch the unfolding disaster, and am powerless to stop it. #

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Mon, 01 Mar 2010 13:02:18 GMT

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22:22 Mending clothes, Juans for dinner with the ladies then walmart shopping. I'm a happy stepford. #
22:42 Why does every detergent except tide original smell like axe? This is so unfair! #
23:40 Finally found a non offensive detergent. Why is life so difficult in such simple ways sometimes? #

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Sun, 28 Feb 2010 13:02:03 GMT

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18:10 Just heard a person use ciao! In real life, in earnest! I can't help but feel as If some unplanned life goal has been fulfilled. #
19:57 RT @wilw: The Norwegian Men's curling team gets a gold medal in the unofficial Fancy Pants Olympics, which I just invented for this purpose. #
20:16 Coffee dates instead of drinking ones are pretty awesome. My inner lost boy is mourning my sense of restraint though. #
20:41 @zarahs This is at the republic! "Sign Win" - twlol.com/tw/?v7-41518 #lol #fail #
20:46 @Zarahs But now where will the Ampersands kids/People from Metairie go to pregame? #
20:52 @AGHMiNickiLf But I told @zarahs never to tell that story to anyone! Traitor! #
03:40 @AGHMiNickiLf I totally couldn't resist. But I guess I have a strong stomach or something. I was just like "eh." #

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Sat, 27 Feb 2010 13:02:22 GMT

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11:58 The early bird gets the early job. God I hope not. #
12:28 @Zarahs I love the Vegas airport! But you should have done the fast shopping spree at planet Hollywood! #
12:36 @Zarahs I failed to take scheduling into account. I wanna go back there so bad! #
14:38 Its a really beautiful day. And there's copious shade. #
15:50 Creepy stalker guy from the beach just told me to go try BBC and fd and razoo because they just lost people. I'm there! Thanks creepy guy! #
16:25 Has a terrible reminder of past trauma just when the day is looking up. #
19:19 Found in my pocket the receipt from the time I broke the ATM at sneaky pete's, in french. Good times, good times. #
21:49 Feel the need to be anonymous. Maybe I'll be blonde tonight. #
22:52 @adeceve I wear the blonde wig sometimes, just to kick it up a notch. It's a pretty good wig. #
00:57 Only thing worse than strip club drama is swingers club drama. Sigh. Grow the hell up. #
03:27 Hip hop at flanagans. Awesome. #

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Fri, 26 Feb 2010 13:01:33 GMT

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11:52 @fitofwhimsy my girl. Every time. #
13:51 Too early for moving... #
14:26 @Zarahs this is different than usual how? Haha I kid I kid Luvs yoou! #
23:09 At reverend Horton heat with @zarahs. Life's good. #
23:38 @bluepetalfae home probably. Last night was kind of epic. #
23:58 There is a guido couple slow dancing and making out in the middle of this psychobilly show. Twilight zone material. #
00:20 Last song is a Johnny cash cover?! Awesome! #
00:32 @excourier folsom prison #

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Thu, 25 Feb 2010 13:01:48 GMT

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08:52 @fitofwhimsy you've given me inspiration and goals. #
10:43 RT @angela_la_la: This made my day. Also heard: 5 heart attacks? How many horcruxes does Cheney have? #
18:15 Stupid bridge traffic. #
22:03 I am often the instrument of my own undoing. #
01:02 Bowling...a decision best made while drunk #
02:43 @Zarahs is a kill joy #
03:55 I'm a mess! Why am I giving relationship advice? #

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Wed, 24 Feb 2010 13:02:13 GMT

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01:20 I've been almost completely absent from twitter today. Sometimes, you just gotta take a break. #
02:55 Hulu has so many excellent movie options today! #
05:09 Tons of laundry. Finally mostly better, and it's laundry gras time. But making serious headway. It's cookie making time! #
06:10 Almost no cookies! No butter so I made muffins instead. Then Mike showed up with the butter...so there are bountiful baked goods. #

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